Now to write something

Seriously do not read if you have no time to spare. I am pretty sure this is my longest post ever, if not the 2nd most. I still have no idea how to use that correctly

Woah. Couldn’t wait for the 2 month mark so gonna start writing like 7 days in advance. Not going to talk about my results for my A Levels, pretty disappointing though. Didn’t get A’s in subjects that I thought I would and got A’s in subjects that shouldn’t  – . – Life is weird sauce

Countdown 1 month to enlistment day, minus a few hours of course. Can’t wait to see what NS has in store for me, not really sure when I am going to start adjusting my bio-clock to sleeping by 2300 and waking up at like 0430. As of now, still sleeping at like 0500 in the morning, mainly due to catching Indian Wells and Miami matches these past weeks. I don’t really see this trend continuing though as we are heading into the clay season which for some reason the cameras, not the points, make me fall asleep faster. But at least the matches will be earlier so that’s a plus

Stopped gym-ing 2 or 3 weeks ago. Gonna focus on calisthenics and cardio for now to prep my body for the rigours of NS(?). Which officially leaves my weight at like 70 kg which I expect to slowly drop in the next month, even more so during BMT.  Totally gonna go off-track of my ideal weight of like 75 kg but hey, I have the rest of my life to reach it. Or at least until a sedentary lifestyle sets in with studies and work and maybe death. So that leaves me with an estimated 4 months to do so from between I come out of NS and when I go into the U. Fuck.

At least I won’t be one of those who will be missing my hair for the next 20 months or so. Tried growing my hair out post-JC life but a combination of not giving a fuck about haircare in addition to shitty hair texture has forced me to leave it short for the duration of the rest of my life I guess, until the next hair fashion thingamajig comes along – which I had secretly hoped and still am hoping it to be short neat hairstyles

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Okay. Gunning for over a thousand words here since, I may not come back to this blog as often as I have a few years ago. So the rest from here downwards is gonna kinda be dribble. Nonsensical dribble of course. The best dribble there is. Also Word Count the past few sentences Woohoo. Random capitalization fucks up your reading dunnit?

You know about those prophetic dreams that take place a few months ago till you realise that you are acting out the exact same scenario in real life. Dreams that ‘most everyone I meet has at sometime or another? Well, been having those more often as of late and closer to the said “IRL acting out”. Of course, nothing as awesome as lottery numbers yet, which I assume are coming of course since there has got to be a limited amount of scenarios that can be acted out in my head until it comes to gambling and crap. I do not know how to play craps, or most die related games.

Of course there are dreams on the other end of the spectrum. Strange thing is that they are so vivid that I can still remember details hours after waking. Problem is, these dreams are wildly ridiculous. Things such as the sun setting and rising continuously, zombie apocalypse(s) pop up many a time as well as a creepy dream in which I am trapped in a place with no exit or anyone around. Weirder still is how in most of these dreams I am fully aware of it being a dream (not in an Inception kind of way) but not quite waking up and seeking to prolong the dream because, well, why not? Such as seeing how my mind handles zombi-fication and what not would be an interesting way at seeing how my mind invents ways to handle complex issues that aren’t. Reading an article about why flying in our dreams happens a lot and rather easily is attributed to the fact that flying itself is simple to emulate in a dream-state as compared to more complex motions that involve our body such as Judo which our body actually knows what it feels like which would be more taxing on our minds. Wow you did not give a crap

So that covers dreams (not aspirations)

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I am starting to think that I may actually be mildly anti-social, not to the extent where I go out of my way to avoid human interaction of course

Whenever I start to engage in more solo activities like listening to music, watching videos, reading books etc (anything but staring into deep space) I actually feel annoyed if someone actually disturbs me or even tries to strike up a conversation with me while I am doing my solo stuff (except for staring off blankly into space of course), doesn’t matter if I know the person or not. There is this feeling that churns within me which feels a lot like anxiety with an annoying twist (may be literal) of course. Which is weird to me since I have always thought of myself as a very talkative person, with an admittedly very thick wall of ice. But actually feeling so much disdain at people who are just trying to be friendly, it really disgusts me.

So to the random strangers that talk to me while I am out, chances are you will never find – certainly never going to read this post – , I apologise for my reaction to you which may make me seem a little arrogant and fully of myself. Yeah that’s all I am gonna say about it.

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Well that brings me to the topic of small talk which I find myself extremely inadequate and unprepared for. Sure I am polite with my greetings and name exchanging but I believe that I fear what is going to come, which is of course nothing. Here are the topics that I feel extremely open about discussing:

Technology, though not in the GP kind of way. Internet trends or memes. Weirdly nerd topics. Videogames. Martial Arts. Tennis. Fat people. Gossip (wow)

Notice the lack of popular sports or cars which would leave me out of most warm-up conversations (or what they are called). Very niche topics I talk about to be honest, and it’s not like I can fish out the above topics easily as they are very distinct from a cultural standpoint except for the latter 2 of course. If I manage to coax out the inner nerd then it’s all fine of course but then social anxiety kicks in beforehand and I get fears of being viewed as this huge nerd come up (which I have come to terms with a long time ago) and I stop talking . Yes I have issues

Which is perhaps the one reason as to why I have a very tight knit group of friends which we talk about any ho-hum thing under the sun. Not that I would ever trade them for more friends of course but if life were a videogame I would not be opposed for a power-up in terms of communication skills, which is lagging far, far behind my proficiency at bullshit to be comfortable

Of course with the opposite sex this narrows down my range of topics even further. Fortunately I have managed to find female friends who have similar interest to me but again, the problem is connecting and meeting new people. Another problem that props up would be that if I really run out of topics I revert to the latter 2, fat people which makes me seem like an ass or joker (depending if the faux arrogance bit is done well enough and I am not crossing any lines) as well as gossip (which they then realise that’s all I talk about).

That in addition to my patented not saying hi to people (which strangely contradicts the 2nd sentence of this stanza) make people say I am antisocial and arrogant. And that was perhaps the worst summary I have written. Woohoo for 12 years of formal English education!

Pfft. Labels

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Lastly, I am really pissed that Diablo 3, Battlefield 3 as well of a whole slew of awesome videogames and movies are coming out during my NS stint. Particularly at Duke Nukem Forever, which they pushed back again, to after my enlistment date -.-

Seriously. Don’t judge me. And no. I am not killing myself, as much as a suicide self note this sounds like when proof-reading

Random Notes:

Wow random notes this time seem to be misplaced. Should be renamed anything I can’t elaborate into more than 2 paragraphs for this post

Yes Sergeant. No Sergeant

Seriously. I have thousands of songs in my iTunes library. Yet when on shuffle, it always manages to find the default songs in iTunes to play. Especially the ‘Maid with the Flaxen Hair’ thing, which still manages to catch me thinking it’s the intro to some track lost in my endless playlist. Possibly an artiste going for a more indie sound. But by the time I realise, song’s more or less over. Damn my oncoming Alzheimer’s…..

It’s hard to sound deep when you aren’t. As well as act smarter than you actually are without looking foolish. So I try not to do both and go in the other direction, almost to a fault of course. Acting the fool in most occasions makes people underestimate you more. The belief that people never know that I am gonna stab them is fun

Signing Off…….. Hey I actually have things to write about